A guy (Jesse Bradford) has his life planned out, until he is wooed, groomed and then dumped by an elusive woman (Elisha Cuthbert).

From a bland tract house on the outskirts of Los Angeles, Simon Geist (with occasional help from his platonic girlfriend Darla) wages war against all of modern American popular culture….

In the 22nd century, a scientist attempts to right the wrong his ancestor created: the puzzle box that opens the gates of Hell and unleashes Pinhead and his Cenobite legions